It's really silly & I suppose a talk from reality itself would cure me from conjuring wild scenarios but I actually think I enjoy scaring myself with these mental thoughts. It's a vicious circle I suppose I will not get out of it unless I really want to & when boredom/procrastination hits, it's the best game I have on my hands.
I overthink things, that's the stem of the problem. Say I make a new friend, I'll already have thought of disagreeing with them [because I always disagree with people], then I'd play out an argument which would be of such a grand proportion that we'd break up, for so many months there'd be silence & awkward moments where one of us would text the other but there'd be no reply, similarly, a time would come where we would have forgotten what the original argument was about and then a brave first step towards reconciliation would be made [not by me though, I just always think of it too late] & then friendship would be restored. Drama would occur between us both & all would be right once a few chats about my difficult personality & their sensitivity is discussed & silently mocked by the opposite party. Of course, none of this really happens [75% of the time,anyways] but it's super super fun imagining it all. So much so that often enough I'll have thought so far ahead about this that I will be confused when that friend is so normal with me. In my head I'll think, 'Haven't we argued?' it's strange but I've managed to compartmentalise those thoughts of delusional arguments.
I understand this really does place some interesting questions about my sanity & state of mental capacity for distinguishing between reality & fantasy, but being normal is overrated so I really don't care.
